Part 1 — Women’s Stories

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Bangladesh

Women get neglect and violence from husbands

Jyotikana Deuri

My heart breaks when I think about the women of our country. They are neglected and oppressed, and they think it is their lot. They have to endure all the suffering without protest. They toil hard for their families, but their service is not appreciated. In return for their ceaseless efforts they get neglect or violence from their men, but still they hold on, serving the men as their lords. They are told this is their fate, which they must accept without grumbling. The women feel they should not protest or revolt against this tyranny of men. Society has not given them that right: they have no education, no guidance, no confidence — they grope in the dark. Their capacity for suffering is amazing.

I am hurt to the quick by their miserable state; I feel infuriated because I am also one of them. I want to raise a voice of protest on their behalf, but then I feel this is a Herculean task and I alone cannot perform it. This helplessness adds to my agony. Often, I go among the poor, illiterate women—I like to talk to these simple people. They open up to me. They believe what the maulvies tell them and they are superstitious, they do not hold anybody responsible for their misery; they think it is their destiny. What is lotted cannot be blotted.

During one of my outings to a poor locality I came across Sakhina. Most of the people in that region are Moslems. Sakhina's husband, Ramzan, is a rickshaw-puller. Sakhina has often told me about her life. When I entered, Sakhina came running to me. A bright smile illuminated her dark face. I wondered how she could smile in the midst of so much suffering. She caught me by the hand and took me to her place. Suddenly, her smile vanished and she broke into tears.

Her husband beats her, sometimes for a trifling cause, and sometimes with no reason. She showed me marks of beatings on many parts of her body. I was stunned. Besides managing her household affairs and taking care of two infants, Sakhina works in the houses of a rich man in the village. She toils hard all day. It's difficult to maintain a family on her husband's income.

Her husband is not satisfied. She cannot understand. She hands over all she earns to him, but he is still cross with her. Despite her labour, she cannot win her husband's affection. She had thought she would help her husband in running the family, but the unexpected has happened: her husband has grown greedy and idle. He pulls the rickshaw for only a short time, and then he goes

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to the houses where his wife works and takes her money, so that she cannot put aside some of her earnings.

One day Sakhina protested against this. She said to her husband: "You will not go to the places where 1 work to collect money, because my employers do not like this". She could not finish her sentence; her husband pounced on her and beat her mercilessly. He told her that he was soon going to marry a girl more beautiful and active than Sakhina. It came to Sakhina as a bolt of lightning. She could not think of any reason why her husband should marry again. She tried her best to dissuade him, but her husband was unmoved. He said that if he married again, his two wives would earn much and would be good for the family. Wonderful logic!

How can she accept this, being a woman? But what else can she do? She has nowhere to go. She must accept it, because she thinks it is her destiny. So she gives her consent.

Sakhina wept profusely as she finished her story. I could not utter a single word—did not know how to console her. I stood up and stepped out. Sakhina came with me to the main road, and when I was about to turn, she smiled that wonderful smile of hers. It spread over her face like a wave.

I kept thinking about the girl Ramzan was going to marry. She lived with her widow mother. When Ramzan wanted to marry her without taking any dowry, her mother was amazed at his generosity. She knew that Ramzan was married and had children. But she readily accepted his offer, because she knew that no young man would marry her daughter without dowry, and she did not have the capacity to give it. So she will one day come to Ramzan to be his second wife, but her destiny will be the same as Sakhina's.

I returned home with a heavy heart. Would Sakhina be able to save her smile?