Part 1 — Women’s Stories

25

Malaysia

One day I will run away: marriage and inequality

Cecilia Ng

This story is reprinted from Aliran Monthly, a Malaysian critical journal, August-September, 1985. The author, Cecilia Ng, lectures at Universiti Pertanian Malaysia (Malaysian Agricultural University), and has written a thesis on Malaysian women.

Masnah is in her sixties. She never went to school, because girls in those days just did not go to school. She learnt to sew at home. She married when she was fourteen years old, according to her father's wishes. We could not have talked about love then as we do now. She stayed on in her father's house for a while after marriage. Then she moved in with her husband.

She planted padi and reared chickens after marriage. Her husband was enlisted as a special constable in the police force during the emergency. She had to follow him. She stayed in Kuantan for five years while he was in the camp. In Kuantan, she dared not go out at all as the men would disturb her: "mereka kacau, gatallah"¹. She was afraid.

After some time in the town, she began to feel homesick. So she went back to her village. About a month after her return, she received a letter of divorce from her husband. Just like that. No reason was given. She was shocked, because when she had taken leave they had parted in good faith. She thought he had taken a liking to another woman. "Why didn't you write back?" I asked her. "Because I do not know how to write," came the reply. And so she became a divorcee at the age of thirty four.

Life became difficult for her. She was forced to hire herself out as a wage worker in a nearby estate. She had a little daughter then, whom she had to bring along to work. In the estate, she dared not reveal that she was single, as she was afraid that the men would disturb her.

Then she married again. According to her, the man liked her, so she "just followed". But he was poor. He could not maintain her because he did not want to work; he was irresponsible. So they always ended up quarrelling. She was forced to carry on tapping rubber, and had to leave her child with her parents. It was very difficult. Whatever he earned, he kept for himself; he did not give her anything. She had to support the family with the proceeds of her own labour.

Three months after their child was born, he divorced her. She felt very lost. He did not give her any monetary support during the period of eddah

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(under Islamic law, a wife has a right to maintenance for three menstrual periods after her husband has repudiated her). "Why did you not ask for your rights?" I questioned. "It was difficult," she replied. "The ketua kampung² the penghulu³ did not want to help. As a matter of fact, they did not care at all. If I went today, they would ask me to return tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow . . . until the day I die they will not help me."

A year after the divorce, she married for the third time to her present husband. She is his second wife. His first wife was blind, so Masnah had to take care of her for three years. She admitted she did not like him, but he was "gatal"⁴. He always disturbed her while she tapped rubber. He persisted until she quietly followed him.

When his first wife recovered from her blindness, the husband divorced Masnah and returned to his first wife. Masnah then left her village and worked in an estate for three months. But she fell ill and returned to the kampung⁵. She was told that her last ex-husband wanted her back. She went back to him and bore three children—his first wife had died after giving birth to her second child.

But Masnah feels sad most of the time. Even now she says she is not happy. Her husband is always in the shop—he does not work and does not want to help out in the house. He always goes out and does his own thing. She just keeps quiet now, because he will not respond to her pleas. She wants to run away, but she is afraid that no one will take care of her two grandchildren.

Soon they will be moving to a new house to avoid the floods. The house title is in his name. "I have nothing," she says sadly, "even the land is in his name". She realises now that she should have insisted that they register her name in the title deed, too, because she had also contributed towards the household. So she feels that she still has to follow him, "but," she says, "one day I will run away". However, she has learnt to accept her own subordinate position, despite her unpleasant past experiences. Her low level of consciousness and poor living standards do not allow her to break out of a situation of entrenched inequality.

Notes

1. "They were disorderly, lustful".

2. Village elders.

3. Chief.

4. Hungry for sex.

5. Village.