Part 1 — Women’s Stories

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Singapore

“I am considered to be a curse upon my parents”

The author of this piece, a young, Singaporean woman, wishes to remain anonymous. Her story is, however, not as unusual as it seems. Despite economic "progress" and the influence of westernised patterns of social organisation. Singaporean society remains affected by residual Chinese customs: including polygamous marriage and the pressure on women to bear male children.

I believe that every woman experiences oppression of the same kind, but to varying degrees. Personally, I feel that superstitions and traditional beliefs oppress women directly.

I am from a typical Teochew¹ family. My grandparents have ten children: five sons and five daughters. Being a very traditional Chinese woman, my grandmother carries with her many superstitions and beliefs from her homeland, China. I do not know much about my grandfather because he passed away when I was very young.

My father is the eldest child of the family. As in many other Chinese families, the eldest son was expected to, and did, take up many responsibilities after my grandfather's death. In Chinese families, men are supposed to get married and have many children, especially male children, so as to continue the family line. Women are supposed to give birth to as many sons as possible to please their in-laws.

Usually, the eldest son gets married first, and it is hoped that the first child of the marriage will be a boy. In my father's case, it happened that I was the first-born child, and I am a girl. I must have been a great disappointment to my grandmother. In the hope that my mother's next child would be a boy, my mum was told to dress me like a boy. So l went around wearing shorts and T-shirts, and had my hair cut as short as a boy's. I am now so used to this way of dressing that I sometimes feel odd in a skirt. But, true enough, my mother later gave birth to three sons.

Due to my sex and date of birth, I am considered to be a curse upon my parents. My grandmother insisted that my relationship with my parents be pulled apart, and that if I addressed my mother as "aunt", the curse would be eradicated. Fortunately, my mother was able to resist the idea of her own daughter addressing her as "aunt". The fact that both my parents and I have been able to survive my "curse" has spoken for itself.

I do not blame my grandmother for what she believes. To change the older generation's way of thinking is almost impossible. We might as well

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start with our own generation, through education. So: down with women's oppression, and march on with women's liberation!

Notes

1. Teochew is one of several Chinese dialects spoken in Singapore, although Mandarin and English are the official languages.