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Chapter 8:

SEXUALITY AND CHRISTIAN ETHICS

HUMAN CONTEXT

We live in a world of sexplosion. Television, movies, advertisements, innumerable magazines and now the computer and Internet have accelerated the process of exposure of sexuality in our time. It is publicised, glamorised, sensationalised and deliberately commercialised. In the process it becomes trivialised. We think we live in a sex-saturated society as a result of mass media and information technology, but in fact, people do not know the real purpose and meaning of sexuality. There is so much misuse or abuse of sexuality that prevents people from understanding it rationally and objectively. More than ever before there are several sexual options or alternatives available: ‘living together’, homosexuality, single parenting, teen-age sex, pre-marital, marital and extra-marital sex. The wide publicity given to relationships between Princess Diana and Fayad Dodi and President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky are good examples of how sexual affairs can be blown out of proportion. On one hand we realise that a sexual orientation is the basic right of an individual anywhere. It is a fundamental urge or a necessity. But on the other hand, there is so much confusion and misinformation about sex. Therefore, basically for these two reasons it is important that we comprehend the issue from a Biblical point of view. Where does it stand with regard to sex and sexual orientation?

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OLD TESTAMENT BACKGROUND

In Genesis chapters one and two, human beings were created in God’s image. Consequently, sexuality is a divine gift and a privilege. Human sexuality is fundamental to the human structure. Adam was incomplete without Eve.

Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner’ ... Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman (ishshah), for she was taken out of Man (ish).’ Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. ²³⁶

This ancient text makes abundantly clear that sexual attraction is part and parcel of the divine plan. They are meant for each other, is not just biologically but also social-spiritually. The distinction of sexuality is not superficial, according to this Biblical narrative. It is not limited to certain parts of the body. Consequently, human personality is nothing without this sexual distinction. Thus leaving, cleaving and ultimately becoming one is in the nature of human existence and is divinely ordained. Therefore, it should not be considered as inherently evil.

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for soul is nephesh. It refers to the whole human being, including the body with its senses. According to them, a human being is the unity of body and mind. Thus human sexuality cannot be reduced or limited to the sexual organs. It embraces the whole range of feelings and actions dominated by the relations between people. Thus the ancient Jewish people had a naturalistic and realistic perspective on human sexuality. There are several stories of sexuality or sexual relationships found in the Old Testament, good and bad, natural and ‘unnatural’, public and private. Some of the best-known ones are Samson and Delilah,²³⁷ David and Uriah’s wife,²³⁸ and the stories of Ruth and Esther²³⁹. They demonstrate the strength and weakness, possibilities and limitations of human sexuality. They do not hide or feel guilty about these relationships. However, abuse

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236 Genesis 2:18, 20b; 23-24

237 Judges 16

238 II Samuel chapter11-12

239 The Book of Ruth

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or misuse of sexual relationships is vehemently condemned whether committed by commoners or kings, such as the case of Solomon and foreign women²⁴⁰ ; Miriam and Aaron²⁴¹; Joseph and Potiphar’s wife in Egypt²⁴²; Tamar and Amnon²⁴³; Abigail and Nabal²⁴⁴.

It is interesting and significant that in spite of their deeply-entrenched, male-chauvinism, the ancient Jewish leaders had put some great words in the mouths of women as illustrated in the Song of Hannah, the mother of Samuel ²⁴⁵ which anticipates the Song of Mary, the mother of Jesus²⁴⁶. We also hear the Song of Deborah, the prophetess²⁴⁷. The Old Testament takes note of and appreciates the bravery of a woman like Rahab²⁴⁸ the leadership of the queen of Sheba²⁴⁹; and the partnership of David and Bathsheba. So it would be wrong to think that the ancient culture and society in Israel did not give a significant place to women. As cited above some were leaders, queens or partners of great repute.

Having seen the positive side of human sexuality in the Old Testament now we turn our attention to the negative side. Obviously, the ancient writers legitimised and supported gender discrimination. They viewed female sexuality in a poor light. There are certain texts in the Old Testament that are downright derogatory towards human sexuality. The Bible is the product of the patriarchal society. Consequently, it is essentially a man’s book where the woman appear for the most part as an adjunct to men, significant only in the context of man’s activity. The language of the Old Testament is male-dominated and andro-centric. We will cite few examples to illustrate this dichotomy in human sexuality.

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240 I Kings 11

241 Numbers 12

242 Genesis 39

243 II Samuel 13

244 I Samuel 25

245 I Samuel 2:1-10

246 Luke 1:46-55

247 Judges 5:2-31

248 Joshua 2

249 I Kings l0

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The story of Lot’s decision about his two virgin daughters²⁵⁰ and of Jephthah’s vow to God which later led to the sacrifice of his only daughter²⁵¹ are indicative of woman’s total submission or subservience to the will of the father or husband. The notion of women as property could be directly traced to the Judaic, patriarchal family structure. It is mentioned,

You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour²⁵².

She is a possession like the ox or the donkey. Her consent for marriage was never thought of²⁵³ as for example when Ruth was finally bought along with the field that Boaz had redeemed²⁵⁴. A newly wedded wife, if she did not show the sign of virginity, was considered to having violated the honour of her father and her husband and thereby deserved death by stoning²⁵⁵. It is mentioned in the same chapter, that in the case of adultery, both man and woman must be put to death but not because he is equally guilty in the act but because he had violated the exclusive right of the woman’s husband²⁵⁶. It is only the husband and not the wife who can charge infidelity in the partner and thereby demands his spouse to submit to the ordeal of testing²⁵⁷. Only man could initiate a divorce and it is referred to as ‘putting his wife away’ as if she was an animal with some kind of an incurable disease²⁵⁸. It is also asserted,

When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any related duty. He shall be free at home for one year, to be happy with the wife whom he has married²⁵⁹.

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250 Genesis 19:8ff

251 Judges 11:29-40

252 Exodus 20:17 and repeated in Deuteronomy 5: 21

253 Ex. 22:16

254 Ruth 4: 5 and 10

255 Deut. 22:13-21

256 Lev. 20:10

257 Num. 5:11-31

258 Deut. 24:l-4

259 Deut. 24:5

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Thus it is the happiness of the husband that is paramount. Wife’s joy is not at all taken into consideration. Woman was considered as unclean in the Old Testament period because of the taboo related to menstruation²⁶⁰ and childbirth²⁶¹. Every Hebrew male regarded himself as carrying the seed in his loins. He was to plant the seed and a woman’s womb was considered to be a kind of an ‘incubator’. Her role in the process of reproduction was essentially passive and subsidiary. Obviously, the Levitical and Deuteronomic sex codes were downright derogatory and discriminatory against woman. What is worse is that such laws were legitimised by the religious establishment of the time and consequently, considered sacred and holy!

The creation of humanity as found in the Book of Genesis reflects the relationality and complementarity of the two sexes. They ought to be considered as equal partners of God’s nature and purpose. In that ancient Book it is categorically stated,

Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; . . . So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them: male and female he created them. God blessed them...’²⁶²

In the second chapter of the Bible, we need to take note specifically of 18b which states ‘a helper fit for him’(RSV); “a suitable companion to help him”(Good News); “a partner for him’ (New English). Thus different sexual orientation is considered to be necessary and good. The two stories of human creation on Genesis need to be taken together and interpreted properly to advocate sexual equality and freedom.

APOSTOLIC WITNESS

The early Jewish Christians seem to entertain such negative attitudes towards female sexuality. Paul was naturally influenced by his culture and society of his own time. His rabbinic upbringing also endorsed negative thinking about woman in

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260 Lev. 15:19-24

261 Lev. 12:2-5

262 Genesis 1:26a, 2

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particular. A Jewish man’s daily litany was that he was grateful to God that he was not born a woman. Woman was not permitted to read the Torah (the law). It was better to burn it rather than place it in the hands of woman! Paul was nurtured and nourished in that tradition. Therefore it is not surprising to hear in the Pauline epistles,

Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing . . .²⁶³

It is most unfortunate that the apostle Paul should perceive of woman in such a manner and issue instructions about their dress, hairdo and a code of conduct in public on the basis of the Genesis narrative!! Similarly, Paul in his exhortation to the husband and wife states publicly,

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church ... Just as church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. ²⁶⁴

Here again the Pauline analogy is the relationship between the church and Christ. If we read this section carefully, we will discover that the conservative Paul is struggling with this analogy. He wants to understand the relationship in terms of mutuality or reciprocity. He does write about “Be subject to one another”; “love your wives” and finally, retraces to the ancient adage, “the two will become one flesh.” It indicates that Paul is attempting to transcend his cultural-societal conditioning. Writing to the Corinthians, Paul instructs woman to cover her hair and keep it long on theological-Christological ground.²⁶⁵ Obedience and submission were the watchwords for woman according to Paul in particular. But his conversion experience did give him the vision of equality and freedom for woman and man. Although he belonged to the male-dominated society, he was able to grasp or be

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263 I Tim. 2:11-15a; read also verses 9-10

264 Ephesians 5: 21-24; read also verses 25 to 33 of the same chapter.

265 I Corinthians 11: 2-16

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grasped by the grace and love of God in Jesus the Christ. This prompted him to utter,

For through faith you are all children of God in union with Christ Jesus. Baptized into union with him, you have all put on Christ as a garment. There is no such thing as a Jew or Greek, slave and freeman, male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus²⁶⁶.

Evidently, Paul is wrestling with himself about the nature and function of woman. On the one hand, we are disappointed with Paul about some of his instructions and exhortations to woman. But on the other hand, we rejoice that even in that ancient world, he was able to affirm woman’s God-given image and consequently her equality with men. He was unconsciously and consciously mixing theology with sociology of his time.

GOSPEL TRUTH

When we turn to Jesus himself, we are amazed at his open, honest and non-hypocritical attitude and action towards woman in general. There is a surprising element of iconoclasm towards the traditional subjugation and subordination of women in Jewish life. Jesus refused to conform to the status quo or the establishment of the time. He openly and directly questioned, challenged and sought to change the gender relationship. For him human sexuality must promote and strengthen higher goals or ideals.

Jesus’ close, male disciples were astonished (or irritated) to see him holding a conversation with a Samaritan woman in public near a well. ²⁶⁷ The Jewish rabbi, Jesus, had violated the standard norm, of the time by deliberately entering into a dialogue with a Samaritan woman in public. He was obviously offending the sense and sensibilities of the surrounding people and his own male disciples in particular. They were confused.

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266 Gal. 3:26-28

267 John 4:4-30 particularly verse 27

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In the story where a woman is condemned for adultery²⁶⁸, Jesus refused to condemn her and indirectly questioned and challenged the Jewish judicial system that was prone to misinterpretation. Such a system easily victimised the woman, the man in the act was permitted to go scot-free and the people in general and the Pharisees In particular, are ready to stone her to a cruel death. Such was the gender-bias of the law of the time and Jesus rightly refused to yield and acquiesce to such gender injustice. It is not surprising that the sex-workers of Jesus’ society felt free in his presence, not because he was easy with them, but he did not look at them as sex objects to be exploited and deliberately marginalized. Unlike the other rabbis of those days, Jesus had quite a number of women friends and disciples like Martha and Mary²⁶⁹; Mary of Magdala²⁷⁰ and others. Many of Jesus’ examples or illustrations were taken from the life and work of ordinary women - faithfulness of poor widows²⁷¹ and love and loyalty of a woman of dubious character²⁷². Jesus did not tolerate double standards and a hypocritical attitude and action of his society and was particularly harsh on Pharisees. He maintained and sustained an open, healthy and wholesome relationship with all kinds of people - woman and man; young and old; sick and apparently not so sick. More important, human sexuality or different sexual orientations did not pose a problem for Jesus. Even as a young rabbi, he did not entertain any unhealthy, repressive perspective with regard to people of the opposite sex. On the contrary, he held them in respect and honour.

According to the Johannine declaration, Jesus is “the Word became flesh and lived among us”²⁷³. There is no dualism or dichotomy between flesh and spirit in the economy of God’s liberating work. On the contrary, the human flesh is sanctified and even glorified in the incarnation. Therefore, there is no reason to reject the flesh and be ashamed of the human body in the plan and purpose of God. I may also mention that “the resurrection of the body” reinforces and strengthens this positive, wholesome orientation towards human sexuality. It is true that Jesus was not married because of his own unique mission and ministry. But his beloved disciple,

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268 John 8:1-11

269 Luke 10: 38-42; John 11

270 Matthew 27: 55-56; 28:l; Luke 8:1-3; John 19: 25

271 Luke 21:1-4

272 Luke 7:36-50

273 John 1:14a

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Peter was very much married and Jesus had no problems Jesus did not ask Peter to leave his wife.²⁷⁴ Jesus was born and bred in a family environment. The gospels mention his mother, Mary, his father, Joseph and his brother James. ²⁷⁵ Of course Jesus expanded the meaning and significance of a family, making it spiritual-theological. He had said,

They (people) said to him, ‘Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.’ And he (Jesus) replied, ‘Who are my mother and brothers?’ And looking at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother’. ²⁷⁶

There is no negation of sexuality, marriage and family by Jesus but enriching and giving them bigger and higher meaning, Jesus had repeated and reinforced the ‘one flesh principle’ when he definitively declared.

Have you not read that the One who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’²⁷⁷

In this context it is important and necessary to note the role and function of Mary, the mother of Jesus, according to the gospel writers. In the Magnificat, ²⁷⁸ Mary is conceived as a politically aware woman who suffers humiliation of her people and hopes that God in the person of the messiah would bring about much-needed transformation. She is presented as a socially sensitive woman. She does not disappear after the birth of Jesus. According to the gospel writers, Mary appears at crucial moments in the life of Jesus, just when something new is about to break in. She realises that loyalty to the kingdom of God is higher than and prior to the loyalty to parents and family as mentioned above. Mary provided for Jesus and the latter provided for the former before his death on the cross of Calvary.²⁷⁹ Thus unlike John the Baptist, Jesus is not an ascetic but portrayed as familial and social.

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274 Matt. 8:14; Lu. 4:38

275 Lu. 2:52; Mark 6:3

276 Mk. 3:32-34; repeated in Matt. 12:46-50, Luke 8:19-21

277 Matt. 19:4-6

278 Luke 1:46-55

279 John 19:25-27

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THEOLOGICAL-ETHICAL AFFIRMATIONS

On the whole Christianity is not anti-sex. It appreciates the God-given gift. It has to be exercised with love, freedom and responsibility. This means that the Bible is not pro-sex promoting promiscuous sexual behaviour, There must be a place for eroticism in human life but ultimately, human sexuality must be governed by agape or hesed love. Both in the Old and New Testaments, we find analogies and illustrations drawn from conjugal and familial relationships. The relationship between God and Israel; Jesus and his followers and church-Christ-members are conceived in terms of bride and the bridegroom; husband and wife; sons/daughters/children; household or family of God and such others.

God in Jesus did not suffer from inhibitions within or did not indulge in prohibitions without about human sexuality. He was not characterised by dos and don’ts, by fear, anxiety or any unhealthy guilt-complex about it. He refused to be authoritarian and legalistic about it as were the scribes and Pharisees. Asceticism and other-worldliness were not the modes of Jesus’ thought and action. Mortification of the flesh and suppression of the natural desires and instincts were not encouraged or supported. According to the Biblical writers, human sexuality has to do with the whole range of feelings and actions dominated by the relations between persons. It is not some blind impulses but an expression of the selfhood or the personhood.

QUESTIONS FOR GROUP DISCUSSION

What has been done or could be done in your church and society to achieve gender-justice?

Is there sex education in your school system or in your church? Is it adequate? What can be done to improve it?

What are the reasons for and against divorce? What can your church do to encourage and strengthen family life?

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FIELD EDUCATION

Make an empirical study of your congregation with regard to sex and sex education. Make sure that you select the group carefully - a proper proportion between women and men; young and old; educated find not so educated; well off and not so well off; clergy and laity. Make suggestions to improve the situation.

QUOTATIONS FOR PERSONAL AND GROUP REFLECTIONS

It must be admitted that deeply rooted organic drives and intense and complex human emotions are components of sexuality. Indeed, sexuality seems to be precariously poised on the boundary between irrationality and rationality, anarchy and sobriety, as to nullify every attempt to bring the counsels of judgement and virtue to bear upon the guidance of sexual behaviour . . . Sexuality is a kind of a sacrament. Lust must, of course, be overcome. But the basic sexual attraction is a gift of the Creator to the creature and thus is good . . . Marriage is a symbol of the eschatological marriage in which Christ is the bridegroom of humanity as such.

Cultural forces often affect the ideals that constitute a ‘good’ marriage and family life. Social and economic forces have changed and continue to change marriage and family patterns in many parts of the world. The exploitation of persons for the sake of sexual gratification alone is judged to be morally wrong. It is demeaning to the meaning of personal life, and surely not a solid basis for sustaining, human relationships, for persons to treat one another merely as objects for physical gratification. There is a natural revulsion on the part of women who have been subject to sexual exploitation and harassment; there is a violation of their ‘natures’ as human persons.

There can be no self without a body, for it is in virtue of the body that we are in the world. Only as embodied selves can we act on the world or be acted upon by the world. The body is ‘appendage to the self, still less an encumbrance to the self, but

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an essential part of personal being. Body is the condition for our participation in a world and for our attainment of personal being - a condition so essential as it is correct to say that a human being is a body rather than has a body. The body is the basis, the subject of personality.

When a woman thinks alone, she thinks evil. . I have found a woman more bitter than death, and a good woman subject to carnal lust . . . They have slippery tongues. . Since they are weak, they find an easy and secret manner of vindicating themselves in witchcraft. They are feebler both in mind and body. It is not surprising that they should come under the spell of witchcraft . . . As regards intellect, women are like children . . . And it should be noted that there was a defect in the formation of the first woman since she was formed from the bent rib, the rib of the breast which is bent in the contrary direction to man. Women have weak memories, she is a liar by nature . . . Let us consider her gait, posture and habit, in which she is vanity of vanities . . . Woman is a weedling and a secret enemy. For the sake of fulfilling their lusts they consort even with the devils.

REFERENCES

Cole, William Graham, Sex in Christianity and Psychoanalysis

Lehmann, Foul, Ethics in a Christian Context

Kapur, Promilla, Love, Marriage, Sex and Indian Women

Phadnis, Urmila and Malani, Indira (ed.), Women of the World: Illusion and Reality.

Bartdn, Mukti., Creation and Fall and the Women of Bangladesh: A Contextual Study

Sinha,Indrani and Sleightholme, Carolyn, Guilty Without Trial: Women in the Sex Trade in Calcutta

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Faria, Stella, Scott, Corinne and Tellis-Nayak, Jessie (ed.) Biblical Women: Our Foremothers

Women of Courage: Asian Women Reading the Bible